Time is counting down to Georgia playing Louisiana State in the SEC championship. It’s Saturday at 4 p.m. on CBS, way too soon on the calendar and at an awkward time in the afternoon.
It’s a game that can make or ruin your supper. I’m always prepared for these things. There is a Supper of Triumph, some delicious meat or other delicacy. On the flipside, there is a Supper of Sorrow, the equivalent of a dollar burrito from the grocery store.
I should be gleeful for Georgia’s appearance in the title game. Your normal thought process should be that this is the start, the beginning of Georgia showing the world just what they’re made of and taking that national title.
It’s not. I am reminded of one of the world’s great philosophers, Matt Foley, as portrayed by Chris Farley on Saturday Night live.
At one point in his motivational speech to “teenagers” David Spade and Christina Applegate, he talks about that optimism that you initially have. Grabbing the world by the tail, he said. Then the world hits you back.
He yells to the duo that, “You’re not going to amount to jack squat.”
They will, he said, be living in a van down by the river. Which is exactly how I figure this one will go.
Have you watched LSU’s Joe Burrow this year? Have you seen him?
He’s thrown for 44 touchdowns this season. He has 4,300 passing yards and a 78% completion mark. Georgia has 43 offensive touchdowns, period. Never mind that running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire has run for another 16.
LSU is undefeated. They didn’t just beat Alabama, they did so when quarterback Tua Tagovailoa was still intact.
There are some writers out there positing how it’s just possible that the Dawgs actually win this football game. If the defense does this or Jake Fromm does that. The stars must be here over the heavens and Kirby Smart parked exactly in the middle of his parking space while Uga barked three times...
I have an idea, too, of how Georgia can win.
LSU’s entire team decides their true calling is not football, but shuffleboard and with five minutes to go before kickoff, all of them step aside to pursue this dream.
I don’t expect to win, but it’s going to hurt when they don’t.
Last week, Ole Miss’ Elijah Moore was penalized late in the Egg Bowl for pretending to urinate like a dog after a touchdown, turning a cinch extra point into one much longer. It missed. Mississippi State won by that point.
Moore’s mistake wasn’t just getting a hilarious penalty at the end. It was getting that hilarious penalty with the whole world watching. He’s going to end up a punchline for all eternity of that series.
Georgia’s going to be watched by even more folks. We know we’re not that good. But that 11-1 record is deceiving everybody. This is a team that stunk it up against South Carolina. The Gamecocks finished two games from even qualifying for a bowl game.
All we can hope for is to hang with LSU for a while. I’d at least like to have a Supper of Mediocrity.